The Life Sesh

How to Spot a Good Manager

And what to do when you have one

How good is your manager at being a manager? Are you among the lucky ones who has a great boss? I’ve been lucky enough to have a few good ones over the years, even one or two great ones. But I’ve also had some very bad managers. Fortunately, I was able to learn a lot from both types.

One lesson you’re not likely to get in school or most company training programs is how to recognize a good manager. Sometimes it seems like one of those things that you know when you see it, and rarely does anyone define it for you. It’s good to have a few guideposts so you know when you have the real deal: a manager who is supportive, provides good feedback and helps you achieve your goals.

You’ll also need to be able to recognize if you’re in the opposite situation. You don’t want to assume that when you have a bad manager that this is “the way it normally is.” It’s not the standard. Even though they are the boss, it doesn’t need mean that they are necessarily a good one.

Let’s dive into it: what makes a good manager, how to know when you’ve got one, and what to do once you realize you’re working with someone worth learning from.

Manager Profile: Jay

I have heard a lot of stories of the impact a great manager can have. One of my grad students, Anne, was just starting out in a new role at a growing tech company. Like many of us, Anne’s job was mostly remote. She had just onboarded with a new company and into a newly formed team. She had to learn all new systems and process –without any in-person interactions. It was a bit lonely – and at times it was overwhelming.

But Anne’s manager, Jay, made all the difference.

He was able to recognize that his new employee likely needed some additional oversight in her first few weeks. Jay set up a 30-minute check-in with her every single day. He didn’t do it to micromanage or to make sure she was working the right number of hours per day. He used that time to answer her questions, help her think through her work, offer guidance, get to know her and check-in.

Jay’s goal was to help Anne connect with the team and to her work, even though they were all working from a distance. He was very good at noticing how everyone’s contributions – Anne’s included – were part of the team’s success. He also took the right amount of time to help Anne with parts of her job she didn’t fully understand. He knew that being patient and understanding would pay off in the long run.

After about 3 months, their one-on-one meetings became focused on how they were collaborating as a team, and Anne started to offer some good ideas about how their project work could improve. It became a two-way discussion, rather than Jay having to help Anne.

When they had a big presentation coming up to their Senior VP, Anne did a lot of the work to prepare for the meeting. On the videoconference, Jay let Anne take the lead on a key part of project update instead of taking the spotlight for himself. At the end of the meeting, Jay acknowledged Anne’s hard work, and he made sure her contribution was seen and appreciated.

Anne felt seen, trusted, and motivated. She knew what having a great manager felt like.

Jay wasn’t flashy or dramatic. But he was the kind of manager who creates the space for others to thrive. He also knew that each member of his team is different, and that they need different kinds of ‘management’ at different times. He understands how to get the most from his team.

Why A Good Manager Matters

Your manager is important to your job satisfaction, professional growth, and how you work with others. A good manager is on the lookout for you and your team, keeping you focused on individual and business goals. They help you troubleshoot problems, offer ideas for solutions, connect you to other advisors and protect you when things go sideways.

A bad manager? It’s the opposite. A bad manager may appear to be focused on managing the project or the business outcome, but they are really focused on managing themselves. They’re looking for their next promotion or a way to look good in front of their superiors. They’re not supportive of your professional growth. They may be insecure in their role and not understand how to navigate trouble spots.

This is not just about liking your manager. It’s also about whether they manage well. It’s about demonstrating technical and leadership skills and creating a work environment where everyone on the team can do their best work, grow their skills, and be recognized for it.

What a Good Manager Looks Like

Good managers are not a homogeneous lot. There are different work styles, personalities, and communication preferences. Some are open, chatty and charismatic. Others are quiet, analytical and methodical. There are managers who send everything via email, while others prefer to walk around and have impromptu meetings. Whatever combination of style characteristics a manager has, there are few leadership traits that good managers share.

1. They Set Clear Expectations

A good manager makes sure you understand what success looks like for you, for the team and for the company. They set clear goals, deadlines, and priorities. They clarify who has what responsibility and if they don’t know, they find out for you. With a good manager you’ll have specific performance objectives, and you’ll review them together regularly.

Good managers provide direction, and they do it early and often.

 

2. They Give Real Feedback – In Real Time

Feedback is a way of life with a good manager. You don’t have to wait until a formal performance review to find out how you are doing on the job. Good managers give feedback in the moment – when it is most relevant. They also make it a part of your routine check-in meetings.

An important part of this feedback is not just telling you what you did wrong – good managers help you see how to improve. They also take time to point out when you’re doing something well.

The best managers also welcome feedback from you and your peers. They embrace the culture of feedback by accepting constructive input and ideas from you, and by striving to build on their strengths and improve on their weaknesses.

 

3. They Make Time for You

A good manager makes you feel like you are a priority. They check in regularly and listen carefully to your questions and requests for guidance and support. The best managers put down their phones, close their laptops and avoid multitasking when you’re meeting with them.

Even the busiest leaders make time for their people. If your manager consistently cancels one-on-ones, ignores your emails, talks over you during meetings or only reaches out when there’s an emergency, you’re likely not getting what you need from him or her.

 

4. They Guide, Not Micromanage

Good managers understand that every one of their direct reports is different, and that different situations call for different levels of oversight. Good managers trust that well-trained team members can do their jobs, and that they need room to learn and grow.

But good managers also know that people may get stuck. Sometimes they need a new perspective or even a sounding board to work through a problem. While they are always ready to help when called upon, the best managers recognize when they are needed even before someone raises a hand.

The best managers can find the balance between hands-on and hands-off.

 

5. They Advocate for You

Good managers understand that they are not doing the work of the team all by themselves. They are champions of their team members – in an open forum and behind closed doors. They provide visibility for others’ work and share credit for team successes.

When the time comes for a direct report to be considered for a promotion, good managers advocate for their most talented team members. They are ready to have you realize your ambitions and learn and grow.

What a Bad Manager Might Look Like

There are two sides to every coin. Here are some signals that you’re not working for a skilled people manager:

  • They give vague instructions – or no instructions at all. They expect you to read their minds.

  • They are ready to lay blame if something goes wrong.

  • They take credit for successes and don’t acknowledge contributions of others.

  • They play favorites, assigning important work to the same one or two individuals, and they don’t give any rationale.

  • They use fear, pressure or intimidation to “motivate”.

  • They shut down your ideas without explanation.

  • They don’t work with you on your career development, and don’t support your professional growth (I once had a manager tell me, “I don’t understand what that means – ‘to support you’.”)

It’s important to recognize these behaviors. They are not acceptable and normal. Sometimes there is not much you can do when you have a bad manager because it’s nearly impossible to change another person’s behavior. But there are ways to look out for yourself. One key is consistent communication, ensuring that your contributions are documented and recognized. And you can view the situation as a learning opportunity – you can develop a “Don’t Do” list for your time as a manager in the future.

What To Do When You Have a Good Manager

You’re in a great position. A great manager can be a rare find. You’ll want to learn as much as you can from your manager and invest in the relationship. Here’s how:

1. Show Up Prepared

Your manager is giving a lot to you and your team members. Stay ready by preparing for meetings and check-ins. Respect their time and their guidance. Continue to deliver high quality work and constructive ideas. Your manager will feed off your positive engagement.

2. Act on Feedback

Your good manager will give you notes on your performance. Embrace the feedback and translate it into specific actions you can take to improve. Check in with them to demonstrate that their coaching is important to you.

3. Share Your Goals

Your discussions with your manager will likely include where you want to go in your career. Be specific about the skills, projects and opportunities you want to work on. But don’t only rely on your manager for professional growth. Share the steps you are taking to learn and grow.

4. Pay it Forward

Let your manager know how they make a difference. Appreciate them when they back you up during a meeting or point you in the right direction. You’ll also want to take note of how your manager leads, and make sure that you use these same tools when you become a manager.

Call to Action: Good Managers, Great Careers

A good manager won’t do your work for you. They’re not going to fix everything and take away every challenge. They’re not going to guarantee you a raise or a promotion. But they will make your workday better, and they’ll make your professional life better. They’ll push sometimes, and they will know when to back off. They’ll allow you to speak up when you’re struggling, and they’ll recognize you when you’re achieving. A good manager will inspire confidence, skill-building and collaboration.

Appreciate having a good manager. Learn from them. Share in their successes. Help with their challenges. Take notes.

You’ll want to be ready when you get the call to manage a team. You’ll not only know what good looks like, you’ll know what it feels like. And you’ll be ready to pass this knowledge and experience to the next set of team members who are eager to thrive under a great manager.