Follow-up

Is Your Boss STILL Ghosting You?

What do you do now?

November 26, 2024

Last month we met Brian, a young professional dealing with a manager regularly cancelling their scheduled 1:1 meetings. Today we check back in to see if there has been any improvement. Read Brian’s story here.

Brian continued his 1:1 preparation for his subsequent meetings with his boss. He continued to improve his approach and even added a running section called, “Completed/FYI”. He didn’t talk about this section during his 1:1 meetings, but he figured it was a useful way to show how the prior input helped him complete important parts of his project, and it gave him a cumulative list of all progress and milestones achieved.

Over the next several months, he noticed that his boss was reverting to some of his old behaviors. Meeting were postponed or cancelled, and in one instance, Brian logged into his Teams Meeting promptly at 4:00, only to have his manager IM him at 4:21 saying that they would skip the meeting that day. Brian had started to feel more confident, but that feeling was starting to wane. Worse yet, Brian was starting to feel frustrated, and it was making him feel less sure of himself overall.

Sometimes we feel like we have tried everything to break through to a manager who is not providing the guidance and leadership needed to complete projects or succeed at work. In Brian’s case, he is fortunate that he is in a rotational program and will soon move to a different assignment within the company with a different manager. Other professionals in this situation may be forced to accept that this manager is unlikely to lead or guide them professionally and should start seeking other opportunities in a different department or at a new company.

When starting with a new situation, the best thing we can do is learn from the past. Here are some suggestions to move forward positively in your new situation:

From the start, agree with your manager on a cadence for regular interactions. Try to establish a robust routine. You can suggest to your boss to meet weekly for at least 30 minutes, with email updates in between, or more frequently in the beginning, reducing the number of meetings over time.
Be prepared for your first 1:1 meeting with key topics you want to discuss. As a courtesy, send your manager a list of topics the day before so they can be ready to provide you the input and guidance you need.
If you notice your 1:1 meetings being regularly cancelled or postponed, address it early on with your manager. Remember to recognize the value you get from the regular interactions and how it helps you achieve your, and your team’s, goals.

Brian’s experience has inspired a valuable tool you can use for your 1:1 meetings. Download the 1:1 prep worksheet to get ready for your next 1:1. This tool will not only help you organize your thoughts for your 1:1 meeting, but the points can be used in an email in case your meeting is cancelled or postponed. It is also a great way to track your accomplishments or progress throughout the year. You can use the content to send to your manager the day before your next 1:1. This will help your manager understand how much value you get from your meetings and how they can help you succeed in the future.