Power in Showing Weakness

Leaders Use Failure to Inspire Success

November 12, 2024

Frank is a senior manager at a mid-sized tech company. He rose up through the ranks with his strong work ethic and consummate professionalism. He kept a certain distance from his co-workers and his team, preferring to keep work at work and home at home. This approach worked for Frank for a long time. But, as he moved up in the company, taking on larger teams, he started to notice that his staff was increasingly disengaged and hesitant to share ideas during meetings.

Realizing he needed to switch things up, Frank decided to try something different.

At his next staff meeting, Frank opened with a story about his last pitch to the Executive Committee. He had been up late the night before and was not operating at his best. He pitched his idea, but he had missed key financial details that made his case so compelling. Even though he spent a lot of time preparing, he didn’t communicate everything he needed to convince the executive team to pursue his idea. He was sent back for more work on the idea and felt defeated.

He admitted his mistakes and shared his feelings with his team. “I want to be honest with all of you,” he started. “That didn’t turn out the way I had hoped, and a lot of that was due to what I missed. Despite having the right data, in the end, I didn’t include key info in my presentation. I learned some valuable lessons, and now I do my prep in advance – not waiting until the night before.”

His team was initially surprised – they never heard Frank admit a mistake. There was a shift in the room to more openness about talking about challenges and mistakes, and ideas to overcome them. Frank saw the value in showing his weaknesses alongside his strengths.

Vulnerability as a Leader

Why does vulnerability often get a bad rap? Why are leaders afraid to show that they have made mistakes, bad decisions or the wrong investments? It likely has to do with loss aversion, our bias against feeling a loss – in this case a loss of a perception of strength and leadership. Showing vulnerability usually means giving up the image or appearance of a perfect track record of success or invincibility.

Being a Vulnerable Leader can help you build trust, encourage open communication, and create a positive work environment. Frank experienced this phenomenon first hand when he decided to open up to his team about his failed pitch. He realized that his team needed to see another side of him in order to find that other side of themselves.

How to Show Your Vulnerable Side

If you’re used to putting forward an image of impenetrable success, then showing your weakness or failings to others is not going to be easy. You also do not want to overdo it and risk coming off as disingenuous. Start with a few examples and see how those land with your direct reports and peers. Watch how the conversations change and build from there.

Be Authentic – Share your real experiences and how you felt about it. What did you learn?
Share Your Mistakes – Talk about what you did wrong. Don’t blame – take accountability, so others can follow your example.
Listen Actively – Be open to feedback and listen as people open up with their own examples – without judgment. Create a space for sharing experiences and ideas.
Lead by Example – Show that talking about a mistake or a failure is not only acceptable, but it is encouraged, and it does not carry a risk or penalty.
Balance with Strength – Infuse your examples of vulnerability with your lessons learned and how it helped build strength and confidence.

Where will you lead as the Vulnerable Leader?

Talking about your own mistakes shows that you’re human. Showing vulnerability as a leader isn’t just about exposing your weaknesses; it’s about building stronger connections and fostering a culture of trust and openness. This encourages your team to take risks and innovate, knowing that it’s okay to fail sometimes. You’re going to see that by showing up as the Vulnerable Leader, you can create an environment where everyone feels empowered to contribute and grow.